Double Jucy Lucy @ Matt’s Bar MPL$


Ladies and Gentlemen, I present the double Jucy Lucy from Matt’s Bar in Minneapolis:

Your basic Jucy Lucy is a 7 oz. hamburger with cheese inside the patty.  After cooking on the grill that cheese gets really fucking hot and will burn the shit out of your lips if you get into it too early.  Add the optional grilled onions and this shit is pretty tasty.

Let’s talk about the first time I had one of these hoes.  It was 2006 and I was in town for Dre Day.  We stopped at Matt’s Bar and Mike 2600 wanted to show us what was up.  We all had a Jucy Lucy, I burned my lip, and then we stopped by the Mall of America where Mike was feeling really ill and DJing at some bullshit clothing store.  I had the awesome opportunity of being on the toilet 6 or 7 times shitting my pants off.   After that incident I swore off the burgers but Mike has since convinced me that they are ok and the shitting episodes were a one-time thing. 

So I got off the plane last Friday really buzzed from the excessive drinking that took place while I waited for for 6 extra hours in the airport because President Bush came to town and brought lightening, along with all of the outgoing flights, down with him.  My shit got cancelled and they put me on another flight which was also cancelled so I headed to the Jose Cuervo Tequileria where I drank rum and cokes and ate carnitas.  After that I headed towards the gate but came across the Budweiser Staduim Club so I stopped and had some bullshit Belgian wheat beer they had on tap.  On the plane I had a couple more rum and cokes so when we landed I was ready to take on this bitch.

We headed toward the 5-8 Club or whatever the fuck it’s called where I planned on starting some shit about how they “allegedly” invented the burger but it was a pain in the ass with traffic so we ended up going to Matt’s Bar where we consumed the only Jucy Lucy of the trip.

The waitress arrived and we placed our drink order.  Mike had a water and I ordered a Sierra Nevada ESB.  As the drinks arrived I asked if they would make me a double Jucy Lucy (not on the menu) and the waitress was confused at the concept but finally after a while Mike did what he’s good at and broke out his pen to draw an illustration of what she proposed.  She said a regular Jucy Lucy with a cheesburger on top would be better, I begged to differ and asked them to stack two of the burgers on top of each other.

The food came and my burger could barely be wrapped in the wax paper.  It was pretty big, probably 15 or so ounces of beef before cooking and about the size of the Big MacChicken.  It smelled amazing.

Mike got a regular Jucy Lucy and we split a giant basket of fries.

This time I waited a few minutes before taking a bite, it was greasy and delicious.  The optional onions really took this shit over the top and it reminded me of something I would make at home.

Dipping fries in this pile of cheese/grease was amazing.

After we left Matt’s we stopped at an art gallery for an opening that Mike’s homie, Todd Bratrud, had going on for his green women in lingerie with lizard tails and shit.  They gave away some fresh t-shirts and shades 

It was fly and Mike’s moustache DJ’d for a few hours while I drank some Summit Pale Ale and shit (only once!) in their basement.  Bitch Ass Darius picked me up and we headed over to Get Cryphy! at First Ave. where Plain Ole Bill yelled directly into my ear all night whenever I played something he liked.


12 Responses to “Double Jucy Lucy @ Matt’s Bar MPL$”

  1. M 2600 Says:

    You forgot the best part (aside from the molten cheese)…

    After Grocery had thoroughly explained the Double Jucy Lucy he wanted and the waitress had become fully aware of his food-consumption steez, she took his drink order. This is pretty much verbatim…
    GROCERY: I’d love a Sierra Nevada.
    WAITRESS: Did you want 9 ounce or 15 oun… Oh that’s a stupid question. Can I see your ID?
    (Grocery hands her his ID which I like to call his Raising Arizona photo)
    WAITRESS: …criminal.

  2. Johno Says:

    took ya long enough to get there!! LOL Grew up right by there and am having seizures right now just thinking of that ooey goodness. NEXT!! Sweetie Pies in the Lou’ for some smothered pork chops and the cobbler, and a tank of sweet tea, bring your woman ….it helps afterwards when u dont want to move but still feel the need to work off whatever it was you just consumed, she’ll be so giddy from the great food that she’ll do just about everything you guys always do anyways. Great stuff man!

  3. MF Grocery Says:

    naw dog, the 9 or 15 ounce was the burger size or something. I was drunk though so you’re probably right.

  4. Bobby Says:

    Jesus Christ, that shit looks bananas

  5. Superduck Says:

    Looking at it I can’t help but hink that a pile of hot peppers between the patties would have put it over the top.

  6. JT Says:

    So, while you were out, Sandy and I made our own Jucy Lucy’s for us and the girls… Utterly delicious. Wish I’da thought to toss some grilled onions on them beasts though. I think next time, Imma do pepperjack and maybe some jalaps. Keep doin it BIG.

  7. shortzilla Says:


  8. i can has cheesburger Says:

    […] burn the shit out of your lips if you get into it too early.??Add?the optional?grilled onions and can haz cheesburger? by BelovedInfidel on deviantARTI can haz cheesburger? by BelovedInfidel. […]

  9. mr. pilly wonk Says:

    i made these on memorial day, but i mashed that shit up with my best attempt at pljeskavica ( meat – half lamb, half beef, lots of red pepper flakes. it was Serious Business in burger form. thank you for lacing me.

  10. kungfool Says:


  11. Eric Says:

    Hey Jack In the Box just came out with the Nacho Cheese Chicken Sandwich and Nacho Cheese Burger. The burger is weak but the chicken sandwhich has potential – its one of those deep fried patty squares. The cheese and jalepenos are good too. The first thought that came to me was some sort of variant of the BigMac Chicken but with nacho cheese chicken instead. Anyway just wanted to float that by you. I’m sure you can improve on it.



  12. J Says:

    How fucking disgusting. Why would you eat such garbage? From the looks of this blog, you’re going to drop dead of a heart attack before you hit 50. Good luck with that.

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