Shitty Fucking Tamales

by

So last night after watching fights and a 3 year old tell me “don’t you wish your girlfriend was hot like me” I decided to roll over to a drinking establishment with some friends.  I hadn’t eaten since noon so around midnight or so I began to realize that eating was a necessary move if I wanted to survive. Bacon Dog carts were no where to be found. Then I saw this dude with a paint bucket full of tamales. Generally I would not make a move for them because who the fuck sells food out of a bucket. That’s just NAGL as fuck. I decided to risk it.



He was also slanging Horchata out of his shitty bucket, I don’t even want to know what that shit taste like.

The bartender was generous enough to let us borrow a bottle of Tapatio to give these bland as fuck tamales something that most people usually experience when eating, I believe it is commonly referred to as “flavor.”

As can be seen by the photo above these weren’t even really tamales. A key ingredient was missing, MEAT. It was more like a tube of masa in a corn husk. Actually not even a tube, more like a limp dick of made from corn and fat.

These tamales were so fucking shitty that I even got an extra one! SCORE BITCHES! Just when I thought my experience was over one more tamale popped up to say “HI I TASTE LIKE SHIT! LETS DO THIS!”

This is what I look like when tamales fail at being delicious.

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2 Responses to “Shitty Fucking Tamales”

  1. makr Says:

    i’m getting the feeling that tamales generally just suck ass, conceptually and actually

    a good tamale is still just okay food.

  2. SergDun Says:

    now your just speaking on some foulness. A good tamale is fucking amazing, if you haven’t had a great one you’re missing out. The masa has got to be on point, along with the filling. I like spice added to my masa for more flavor too.

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