Archive for the ‘Not Awesome’ Category


April 16, 2010

Hey are you a lazy piece of shit who enjoys consuming bullshit because some fucking dickhead decided to sell it to you via your lying robot box of plastic dreams?  Well guess what shit for brains, Stouffers now has a microwavable toasted sub for you to shove into you fucking face. Impossible you say? Wipe the hot pocket cum stains off your greasy lips and listen to the magic! (more…)


Pork Chop and Apple Pie Sandwiches

March 10, 2009


Years ago when Sarah and I were dating I was invited to her Dad’s house for Christmas dinner.  He and his 3rd or 4th wife (I forget) cooked a pork loin on their rotisserie way too long and that fucking thing was like eating sawdust.  Luckily there was some applesauce on the table so I dipped a cut of my pork loin in there before every bite.  I looked around and it seemed to catch on because nobody was saying shit except asking people to “pass the applesauce”.

So here I took the classic pork and apples to another level by making a sandwich using pan-seared, thin cut pork chops seasoned with salt, black pepper and minced rosemary- the buns consisted of assorted apple pastries.


Fried Chicken Tacos

June 1, 2008

So yesterday I was chillin at this baby shower jump off in Oakland. It was cool, neo-soul/lite rap was being played for the people who aren’t comfortable with rap music or just fucking bitchmade. There was a taco bar, sangria, wine and a keg. Laid back saturday in the east bay kicking it with folks. At some point a whole squadron of hung over drunks came through and their leader, a man we call Thuggy, brought me a bag full of Chick-Fil-A. Apparently within the confines of Gurp City Chick-Fil-A is a well known delicacy that brings them much delight. When I think of Chick-Fil-A I think a dumb fuck franchise that loves bitchass jesus bullshit so fucking much they won’t open on Sundays because they got a fucking superwalmart dream of patriotic horseshit to live up too. (more…)

100,000 Hits!

March 20, 2008

Wow.  When I started this blog I figured there’d be like 12 or 13 hits by now.  It’s been a week since I have posted anything and I feel like such a lazy shit.  Go ahead and tell me how pissed off you are in the comments section below.

What do we have coming up you may ask?  Well, Sarah and I went out to Global Foods Market last weekend and bought a grip of weird foods  such as the German Tilsiter cheese that has been stinking up my place the past few days (Max- they had Twiglets too).  I promise to get off my ass and actually post some of the crap I’ve been fucking with later tonight.

Tell those other dudes on here (looking at you Mike 2600000 TheeeeeeeCasual Male) to post some shit too.  I’m still waiting on the epic Capri Sun Challenge review.


Kornet Pizza Cones

March 10, 2008

Oak Park Mall in suburban Kansas City was sort of blessed with the only Kornet Pizza franchise in America. We went to the food court on assignment for my dude Grocery. I say this because I hate this mall with a passion. The food court is pretty much the same since I was there a couple of years ago. They have a Panda Express, some sort of cheese steak and potato stand, a Subway (coming soon!), and a Sonic. All of these places were busy with hungry Friday afternoon shoppers, while I was the only person within at least twenty feet of the Kornet counter. All the details and pictures after the jump.


Yes! We Have ‘Coon

March 9, 2008


I took the photo this weekend at the Soulard Farmer’s Market when trying to spot the dude that sells beaver.  I didn’t find him but I did come across some ‘coon. (more…)

Grilled Beaver?

March 7, 2008


Still drunk and hungover, my friend Barron thought it would be a good idea to buy a beaver. (more…)

Our Durian Adventure

March 1, 2008


Sarah and I finally got around to trying one of these stinky pieces of shit.  There’s a reason these things have spikes on them.

I’m done.

February 28, 2008

The Big MacChicken sandwich got me all fucked up.  I need to take a few days off to figure some shit out.  Maybe I’ll come back and share some of the heathier shit I’ve been eating.


The Koolickle Test – RESULTS

February 28, 2008

This thing was fucking horrible.